Bad Apple Movie Theead

[wasted]

Fate is a placebo, the only path is the one behind you. 

[wasted]

You don't look like the coming home for Christmas type. 
 

Hateful Eight is a Christmas movie. Snow and slurs.  I always hesitate to watch it but it's so intricate, it just seems to get better and better. 

[DieselDaisy]

 

Invaders from Mars (1986)

It is more expansive adventure-sci-fi than horror - more family-orientated tonally and less Cold War bleakness. Unlike the original 1953 film, there is nothing really horrifying or scary about it. It is trying to pitch itself like ET I expect? I like it though. Solid film. Good movie to watch on Christmas Day. There are some good Stan Winston FX.

 

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986)

It has been years since I've seen this. It is alright. It is played as a black comedy so very different tonally. ''Dog will hunt. Dog will hunt''. It is probably the only TCM (sequel or reboot or remake) that is worth anything, 

 

[wasted]

I'm going to find something shit to watch now. 

[wasted]

Trailer Park Boys Xmas Special. Let's go. 

[DieselDaisy]

23 minutes ago, wasted said:

I'm going to find something shit to watch now. 

 

Just do what I am doing and wade through all the horror I grew up watching. Much of it is b-movie schlock.

[wasted]

1 minute ago, DieselDaisy said:

 

Just do what I am doing and wade through all the horror I grew up watching. Much of it is b-movie schlock.

Where do you find it? I'm lazily using Netflix which is limited. Is there is there flying dutchmen stuff. 

[DieselDaisy]

39 minutes ago, wasted said:

Where do you find it? I'm lazily using Netflix which is limited. Is there is there flying dutchmen stuff. 

 

Torrents: pirate bay

[wasted]

17 minutes ago, DieselDaisy said:

 

Torrents: pirate bay

It's still going. God damn the CIA suck. 
 

I'll have to go back in. 
 

The Dictator 

 

"Pointy is scary."
 

"ah America. Built by the blacks, owned by the Chinese"

 

 

[DieselDaisy]

58 minutes ago, wasted said:

It's still going. God damn the CIA suck. 
 

I'll have to go back in. 
 

The Dictator 

 

"Pointy is scary."
 

"ah America. Built by the blacks, owned by the Chinese"

 

 

 

Searching for the early Romero drama Hungry Wives brought up some interesting results! 

[DieselDaisy]

For tonight's beery garbage, I do not know whether to watch some (late career) standalone Tobe Hooper garbage or some Texas Chainsaw Massacre reboot/remake/sequel garbage. 

 

- The most interesting thing about TTCM franchise is one instalment has a pre-fame Vigo Mortensen in it while another has a pre-fame Renee Zellweger and Matthew McConaughey!  Movies these actors would want us to forget!

 

- The only modern (i.e., post millennium) one I have seen is the outright remake which came out in 2003. From my vague memory, It was surprisingly not terrible and has Jessica Biel looking hot in it. 

 

There has been about five films since then, one released as late as 2022. Does anyone remember any of them? Why do they bother?

[DieselDaisy]

Two Tobe Hooper turds, both with Robert Englund (who does his best). Night Terrors (1993) and the The Mangler (1995) - the latter a King adaptation. 

 

PS

 

The shocking thing here is The Mangler produced not one but two sequels. How bad must your career have tanked when you are in a sequel to the sodden Mangler? The Mangler only did 1.1m at the US Box Office so how did these sequels even come about? The first sequel has Lance Henriksen - how much did his career tank by the naughties? 

 

The Mangler=the absolute rock bottom of horror franchises. It isn't even a good Stephen King story. 

[Bill Brasky]

@sixes schmixes where's your iron claw review ?

[AxlisOld]

MI:4

[DieselDaisy]

The Poltergeist trilogy

First one (1982) is very good. Brilliant FX. Impeccable camera work. ''Tobe Hooper v Spielberg''?. Spielbergean: all American family - boy has Star Wars posters and father drinks Bud while ''watching the game''. Father also drives a station wagon. This informed my education on America by the way. My gut instinct is that it was more Spielberg. It is the same thing with Jaws where you see these little family vignettes that are more interesting than the shark. Hooper was directing Gunther wanking exploitation scenes in his previous film for crying out loud! 

 

Second one: solid. ''God is in his holy temple''. Everyone remembers Kane. Indian mysticism lets the side down a bit: 1980s-90s always had Indian characters which produced a load of old mystical bollocks like Billy from Predator and Chakotay from Voyager. Tony Blair now resembles Reverend Kane.

 

Spoiler

 

 

 

 

Third one: what the hell happened? How is it even possible to produce a sequel this bad? The trend of 1980s sequels being relocated to New York (Home Alone/Gremlins) continues. Nancy Allen turns up, fresh from Robocop. We are led to believe that the family, despite the trials and tribulations of the previous two films, just sent Carol Anne away to some foster family like a negligent family. Bollocks. 

 

Dominique Dunne got strangled after the first one (she is barely in it) and Heather O'Rourke died after the 3rd one. The curse of this franchise.

 

The Toolbox Murders (1978)

Exploitation trash.

 

I finally finished There Will Be Blood. I do not quite understand this film. It is just a thespian thing: wind up Day Lewis and let him win an Oscar. 

[wasted]

Scream and Running Man are on Netfucks. 

[DieselDaisy]

Saw and Saw II

Ahh 2000s and its ''torture porn'' phrase: bleak grey filtered looking films with fast (choppy) Jason Bourne edits and flash photography alongside bagfuls of 1970s Exploitation. Something in the millennium Zeitgeist desired choppy edits, dark and depressing films and sadism, be it Iraq, Bush Jr, playing snake on a Nokia or England's heralded ''Beckham era'' tanking? 

 

Unfair to label the first one of these as ''torture porn'' as Saw is more a character/mystery piece. James Wan originally was thinking ''more Dial M than Cannibal Ferox''. And you can see this despite his manic editorial style, resorting to flashbacks and pictures, which was really there to fill-out running time as - 18 day shoot - they didn't have enough cash/days. Serendipity maybe? 

 

Irrespective, Saw's sequels connected entire franchise with the ''torture porn'' genre associated more aptly with Hostel films. Shame as the first Saw is a neat little horror film. It combines character building, paranoia, creepiness and clever plot twisting. There isn't a huge amount of gore; even the one gory scene, the sawing foot scene, largely takes place off camera and therefore is suggestive. I also like Saw because I like ''one/minimal'' location film shoots like this (cf. Rear Window, Dial M for Murder). Two actors in a room. Wind them up and watch them perform.

 

Saw II more a swat team actioner and yes, the gore volume turned up. Nowhere near as good but watchable mid naughties gunk. 

 

Oh well.

 

Like Guns N' Roses being called a ''hair (glam) rock'' band. Despite some embarrassing photos which prove this is quite so, Guns fans will do intellectual cartwheels to prove otherwise. ''Mahhn....Guns more Hanoi Roxx...Slash blues like Joe Perry...Rose was Freddie Mercury high art and not Jon Bon Jovi dude cheese dick rock dude''.

 

Associations stick.

[DieselDaisy]

11 hours ago, wasted said:

Scream and Running Man are on Netfucks. 

 

Directed by Detective Dave Starsky nonetheless, after Andrew Davis was fired for being behind schedule. According to Arnold, Glaser botched the film by turning it into an actioner. Original would've been more cerebral, more ''Total Recall'' with Christopher Reeves in the starring role.

 

Andrew Davis just known for making Seagal films until he weirdly knocked it out of the park with The Fugitive.

[wasted]

1 hour ago, DieselDaisy said:

 

Directed by Detective Dave Starsky nonetheless, after Andrew Davis was fired for being behind schedule. According to Arnold, Glaser botched the film by turning it into an actioner. Original would've been more cerebral, more ''Total Recall'' with Christopher Reeves in the starring role.

 

Andrew Davis just known for making Seagal films until he weirdly knocked it out of the park with The Fugitive.

It's not up yet. It's coming Monday. I remember it being good. 
 

Pretty Woman added. Not sure. I'd watch American Gigolo again. Or that one about the dog. 
 

The Fugitive with Indiana Jones. Witness was alright too. 

[wasted]

Superbad, Deep Impact. 
 

Netflixs needs to get more movies. 
 

 

[Bushwacker DOOM]

Went and saw POOR THINGS (without seeing or reading anything about it) at the cinema.

Saw people leaving.

 

Didn't love it, but found it quite enjoyable 

 

 

 

[wasted]

Superbad is awesome so far. 

[wasted]

McLovin. 
 

Badass. 

[DieselDaisy]

Insidious and The Conjuring 

 

I do agree that Insidious is better in its first half then its second. Nothing happens but Wan pulls off all the horror tropes, jump scares, faux subverted jump scares followed up by a real jump scare, Dutch Angles, musical dissonance, Hitchcockian staircase shots, mirrors, etc. People constantly do that stupid horror film thing of wandering off alone to look in creepy basements and attics. He does all this to create a tone that is visually creepy in first half whereas for the second it turns into Poltergeist basically with a Shyamalan-esque plot twist which I saw coming from a mile off (see spoiler below). The Conjuring is basically the same film but a bit of Exorcist chucked in at end. Moral of these two films: leave creepy old house and book at Premier Inn.

 

Things James Wan is obsessed with,

 

- oversized dolls. He never saw a doll he didn't like the look of. Creepy masks and puppets also.

- heavy banging on doors.

 

Spoiler

In Insidious, so that old hag has been porking the wife whilst possessing body of the male lead? So is she a lesbian or transgendered?

 

[Gordon Comstock]

A few days ago I watched a marathon of bad horror movies:

The Strangers. It's painfully slow and what's supposed to be suspenseful just comes across as stupid. Liv Tyler is hard to take seriously. They remade this movie a few years ago with Christina Hendricks, it looks awful, I'll probably watch it soon.

 

Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2. Hilarious, fun movie to watch while drinking and smoking a few bowls. Thanks to @DieselDaisy for mentioning it earlier, I also hadn't seen it in years.

 

Black Christmas 2019 remake. Awful, but funny. It's not 'so bad it's good' but there's some laughs. Has almost nothing to do with the original except a couple random throwbacks, I lol'd at the bag scene. It's such a #brave #powerful movie that they literally burn down the patriarchy at the end.