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Guest The Monkey

I remember thinking No Country for Old Men wasn't that great when I first saw it in 2007 but now I've accepted it's a masterpiece. I like There Will Be Blood a lot too but he got too self important having Dano play both brothers and it detracts from the film.

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Guest The Monkey
34 minutes ago, wasted said:

In place for Napoleon. I'm expecting Gladiator on water. 

It's a more historically pointed version of The Duellists. He's on water for like 10 minutes.

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Napoleon aka the Perv Joker. 

Not as much water as I thought. I'm sure Waterloo was about water and Napoleon only had one arm. This movies takes liberties with the facts of history. 
 

Entertaining movie, a bit of a much a do about nothing. Decent piece of snatch and firing canons at infantry. 

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Carpenter's Someone's Watching Me!

 

It is the 'lost' Carpenter film. They usually omit it from his filmography because it was technically a tv-movie, yet it should be plonked straight in there, between Assault from Precinct 13 and Halloween! Very good riff on the Rear Window and The Conversation about a woman being stalked in a high-riser. Very 70s. 

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The only thing that is broadly historical about Napoleon is,

 

- the Coup of Brumaire (when Napoleon takes power)

 

- Coronation scene is quite good

 

Errors

 

- Trenches at Waterloo (no trenches at Waterloo)

 

- telescope sight on rifle (telescope sights were not invented until the 1840s, at least twenty-five years after Waterloo!!!)

 

- Napoleon leading cavalry charges (Napoleon never led cavalry charges and in actual fact was a poor horseman)

 

- Napoleon and Wellington meeting on HMS Bellerophon (Napoleon and Wellington never personally met, except across a field of battle; when Napoleon was onboard Bellerophon, Wellington was occupying Paris).

 

- Movie Jumps from Napoleon's March on Moscow and Borodino (1812) to his first abdication; in fact there were a further two years of fighting (1813-14) as Napoleon sought to hold onto his empire and France; this climaxed at the Battle of Leipzig, the biggest of all Napoleonic battles, a crushing defeat for Napoleon which probably deserves to be emphasised more than Waterloo. No Leipzig in this film.

 

- Napoleon never fired cannonballs at pyramids.

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2 hours ago, DieselDaisy said:

Napoleon never fired cannonballs at pyramids.

I got mixed emotions about this one. 
 

Would you say Ridley captures the essence of Napoleon's spirit? 
 

As a rookie Napoleon investigator I need to know he was simping for Josephine that hard. 
 

One thing I read was just like he did it, he completed a Napoleon movie. 

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40 minutes ago, wasted said:

I got mixed emotions about this one. 
 

Would you say Ridley captures the essence of Napoleon's spirit? 
 

As a rookie Napoleon investigator I need to know he was simping for Josephine that hard. 
 

One thing I read was just like he did it, he completed a Napoleon movie. 

 

Napoleon when he married Josephine in 1796: 27 (Phoenix is 49)

Josephine: 33 (Kirby is 35).

 

She was a milf basically and very well known in the salons of Parisian high society. Bonaparte was just this raggedy arsed artillery officer with a thick Corsican accent.

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11 minutes ago, DieselDaisy said:

 

Napoleon when he married Josephine in 1796: 27 (Phoenix is 49)

Josephine: 33 (Kirby is 35).

 

She was a milf basically and very well known in the salons of Parisian high society. Bonaparte was just this raggedy arsed artillery officer with a thick Corsican accent.

So it's like a 17 year old kid marrying a porn star. 

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3 hours ago, wasted said:

So it's like a 17 year old kid marrying a porn star. 

 

 

When he met Josephine Napoleon was already a general and had gained fame for his action at Toulon but he hadn't commanded an army. Josephine was this society hostess whose husband had been guillotined during the Reign of Terror. She had affairs and was active in artistic and intellectual circles whereas Napoleon was very inexperience with women and not well versed in ''society''. 

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Scorsese seems to get what audiences want, that's why I'm going to watch The Aviator today before they take it off NF. It will be better than most movies. 
 

I wish Scorsese could make the CD making of movie or Axl biopic. It could be a wild NBK meets Aviator movie. 

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Guest The Monkey

The Valley of the Dolls

This was pretty well acted and performed but it didn't do a lot for me.

 

Beyond the Valley of the Dolls

There's a new boob like every 3 seconds. It's low budget, try hard, and generally unwatchable but it was also seemingly hugely influential on Boogie Nights, Once Upon A Time in Hollywood, and Austin Powers.

 

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36 minutes ago, The Monkey said:

The Valley of the Dolls

This was pretty well acted and performed but it didn't do a lot for me.

 

Beyond the Valley of the Dolls

There's a new boob like every 3 seconds. It's low budget, try hard, and generally unwatchable but it was also seemingly hugely influential on Boogie Nights, Once Upon A Time in Hollywood, and Austin Powers.

 

Faster Pussycat Kill Kill and Mudhoney are good too. Faster is the best. 
 

I'm reading a book about Russ Meyer I got on kindle for .99. 
 

It's called Breast Man: A conversation with Russ Meyer

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25 minutes ago, The Monkey said:

Summarize it for me

It's basically a long interview where he starts off talking about his early life and jobs. He's basically just moved into a new house. He talks about taking women to hotels because his house is too dirty. In the preamble the interviewer says although he talks about new projects, he never made another movie. But he talks about everything, Hollywood, random stories, his philosophy of film. It's kind of chronological, early life, the war, after the war, then his first movie. But he digresses a lot into his personal life. It's very detailed and personal with a lot of movie making stuff and he knows everyone. He did a lot of movies I've never seen but about half through he starts going into Faster Pussycat era. I'm on Chapter 8: Mondo Topless. It's an easy read. He talks about Texas Chain saw and Jaws and how Hollywood is scared of him. 

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Two Carpenter's,

 

Village of the Dammed 

Execution a touch off but a decent mid-tier Carpenter entry. Last film Reeve did before his accident. Luke Skywalker and Kirstie Alley also turn up. 

 

Vampires

A masterpiece. Glorious schlock entertainment. James Woods is magnificent, 

 

 

Laura Palmer from Twin Peaks turns into a sexy vampire,

 

vampires.gif.e35f0e7b1dada22d811c6a5ed243104c.gif

 

It is a better film than From Dusk Till Dawn, Blade and Interview With A Vampire in my opinion.

 

The mid-90s and its revisionist vampire film craze.

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Napoleon

 

The historical errors are appalling and I have discussed some of them above. So leaving that aside, Scott has basically centred the film around Napoleon and Josephine and turned Napoleon and Josephine into a courtly Tudor drama. Napoleon is Henry VIII desperate for a son. Josephine is Catherine of Aragon. And like Tudor bodice-rippers there is plenty of shagging. Napoleon at one point wonders why Josephine hasn't produced a son? The answer, I suspect, is that he keeps shagging Josephine doggy-style! 

 

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